Saturday, July 28, 2007

To Flush or Not to Flush...

Its aching… my knees are aching…
I have been doing lot of thinking over the last one week. While there are some who feel I should write about a sea voyage (which - the sea voyage in itself - anyway I don’t think is a good idea considering my swimming skills… I think the chances of me flying if I flap my hands quick enough are higher than me being able to swim ever… as Neeraj says – I don’t swim, I ‘whale’), there are others who feel I am doing a Salim-Javed by going on and on about travel stories…

It may not be a bad idea to experiment outside the travel zone but it does throw some challenges –
- First and foremost, I will have to change the name of the blog!
- Things happen when one moves around (ask Ms Sudha Murthy)… you cant be sitting at home and expect exciting/interesting thing to happen… Well, things do happen at home and they might be interesting enough, if not gossip material, for others but it would make my life miserable because I am sure one Priti Bhaskarwar would not be too happy about it!

There is another angle to the whole thing – I think the message and medium are getting mixed… Travel is just a 'medium'… the real purpose of the blog is to entertain… Travel is just a medium, the message is ‘entertainment.’

Anyway, I have decided to experiment…

Either way, I have been doing lot of thinking… my knees are aching…

After applying a tubeful of ‘Move’ on my knees to sooth my senses and aid my thinking, here is what I have come up with –

As a company, we believe in collecting all the possible ISO certificates available out there including the ones on environment and safety… While the idea is not bad in itself, the manifestation could be funny at times. Here are some examples –

1. Notice on paper towel dispenser at the corporate block – “Pulling out towels in handful might be good fun but it does not help the environment.”
Hello!! Anyway, I take my male customers to the male toilet whenever a discussion goes out of the hands… we have a laugh and the tension eases up… anyway, why use paper towels at all? Why not use air blowers?

2. Notice in employees' hostel toilet – “Flush only when required”… Oh! I have never seen a flush in my whole life… what is this thing? Where is all that water coming from? Look at the technology man – you push a lever and all this water comes out of nowhere… Look at the way its swirling in there – is it clockwise or anti-clockwise (seriously speaking, the direction of the swirl depends on the hemisphere you are in)? Oh man, I could not sleep the whole night – I just kept flushing, flushing and flushing… it’s so much of fun… I just could not stop…

3. Notice at the stair case – “(Line 1) Do not use mobile. (Line 2) Use handrail”… I tried but Venky could not hear a thing when I spoke into the handrail! (seriously speaking, I had to really explain Vinayak what this notice actually meant!)

Not quite sure how to end this blog... Let me think... Ah! - my knees...

Anyway, here is a survey for all the lazy bums who visit the blog but do not leave any comments... Please vote...
What? Where is it? Scroll down you lazy bum!

8 comments:

  1. A welcome change. These 'preachings' in Infosys stems from a belief the thin layer between homo-sapiens (read Infoscions) and the apes !!

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  2. observation :

    Male customers can be taken ONLY to the MALE toilet, never otherwise .... ha ha ha ha ha hah ha

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  3. Knees part . . . is a good one !

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  4. Nice one Uday, a bit short but humourous as always...

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  5. I could not resist trying to click the Google ad on this blog for "Toto Toilets” :-)
    and contribute to UB’s ad revenue kitty!
    On a side note, My devious me did try voting for the "burn in hell" option and realized that it was a trick option. The page says "unable to process". Heck! What the…

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  6. Nice one... though I think it must have been quite a bit of running while trying to speak at one end of the rail and listening on the other.
    It also reminds me of two such banners I read:
    - A board next to a dangerous hilly road between Dehradun and Masoori read,"be gentle on my curves". surprisingly UP police has some creative men
    - A plaque on a shelf of a shop that belonged to a native american family in Arizona read "Shop lifters will be shot and eaten"

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  7. Looks More of an Management Stuff. Can you try putting things together to make a fiction like "The Goal" by Eliyahu M. GoldRatt and jeff Cox.

    Looking forward for more posts.

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  8. Travel blogs are interesting and filled with more information on culture/drinks/habitats.

    Can you share your experiences

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